Two musicians dating
You may be selling merch’ after the show and here, smiling is very important.
You make every effort to remain not just good-humored, but warm and gracious.
If you’ve made it that far, you probably already know everything you’re about to read here, so it may be a better use of your time to have a nice relaxing bath, practice yoga or whatever rocks your boat.
If you continue to read, please appreciate that this applies equally to girlfriends, lovers, or whatever name represents your partnership.
Again and again I’d fall for the sensitive guitar player who wears eyeliner … But maybe you will be bothered by him missing your birthday because he has a gig in New Jersey, or inclined to paranoia that he’s got “a girl in every port.” Also, if you have pets or kids together, you should expect to do more of the care when he’s on tour. Again, these people aren’t worth getting jealous or insecure about. I might possibly be bitter because I got a song for Valentine’s Day one year which appeared to have been written that same day. If you’re someone who works a 9-to-5 job and requires a full night’s sleep like I do, this is not a match. This is just a fact about all creative folks — writers like myself, actors, musicians, whatever.
and again and again the same patterns would repeat themselves that led to us breaking up. I perfected the “watchful girlfriend off to the side” stance — not possessively hovering too close, but also making it clear to both him and the other chicks that I was watching. You’ll be expected to go to not just some gigs, but probably their shows. Make no mistake: these are all serious things to consider if you’re dating a successful musician. But if you’re also a night owl, then this relationship could work out great. We put our souls into what we do, so we can’t help but take it very, very personally if people don’t like it — even if we’ve become successful doing it professionally. If you go to bed with a writer, expect to wake up with shit written about you.
Have somewhere you can go to regroup and recharge, even if it means going back to the hotel and spending some time on your own.
And they’re right, your honey is amazing, but right now you’d like a beer and a bite to eat with said honey, but there’s no way that’s going to happen.
No one else will do this for you because they simply won’t think about the fact that you have needs. Knowing what you are willing and not willing to do means you won’t end up feeling resentful.
It’s not about you—it’s about the band and the show. Things like driving band members to and from the airport, running for coffees during soundcheck, packing up after the show while the band are schmoozing (crucial if you want to get out of there faster) can all become sources of resentment if you don’t do them with an open heart and attitude of helpfulness. I’m lucky in that, for the most part, I do love all of the musicians my husband plays with; they are stellar individuals.
You, on the other hand, are neither a band or audience member; you’re somewhere in between.
This becomes very apparent when, after the show, the band is getting lots of love from fans and you are hanging around trying to smile and be gracious when all you really want to do is go and eat.