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"If you're sleeping in separate beds, there has to be an effort to maintain emotional and physical intimacy," says Weiner-Davis, whose private practice is called The Divorce Busting Center."If one person is withholding or playing games, that won't happen.As long as intimacy is addressed, their relationship can be OK." If snoring is the issue, the mid-night move is usually the answer."They may start out in the same bed, but during the course of the evening, someone moves to the guest bedroom," Weiner-Davis suggests. People joke about it socially, that it's like sleeping beside a bear -- you've got to move into the other room."If they're close to getting the amount of sex that each wants -- and they need to sleep in separate rooms -- then they're OK.After all, a lot of couples don't just roll over and initiate sex.It doesn't have to be a problem, as long as they make a conscious effort to keep their connection." At times, however, a problem like snoring is a convenient excuse to bail out of the bedroom."It's not always as simple as a deviated septum or differences in circadian patterns," says David Schnarch, MD, a Colorado psychologist, certified sex therapist for over 30 years, and author of .
"There's nothing at all wrong with sleeping apart," Williams says."It does not signal the end of a relationship at all. If one person has been sleep-deprived, they begin to feel more interested in sex.If you've ever slept next to a person who snores, you have to cope with waking up several times during the night."If you're not getting sleep next to your mate, you're not going to be happy, pleasant, or easy to get along with.And if there's resentment because someone isn't getting enough sleep, there's not likely to be sexual intimacy." Whatever the problem -- snoring, the night owl, or the restless sleeper -- it's better to acknowledge it, then do something about it, Weston tells Web MD.They're a lot more conscious about their negotiations on sex.And if someone is sleeping down the hall, it's not a big thing to say, 'Let's fool around before we sleep.'" Sleeping apart can be good for a relationship, she says.It may not be a sexual issue -- but the couple has become so emotionally alienated that snoring is the ticket out." Too often, Schnarch tells Web MD, "people misunderstand the normal, healthy -- but difficult -- processes of emotionally committed relationships." One common issue: At some point in any relationship, one or both partners will experience a need to establish their individuality -- their separateness from couplehood, he explains."Each person will feel this need at a different point.Many couples say they feel like brother and sister, like roommates.That's a big danger sign." Sleeping apart requires a conscious effort to keep the fires burning.