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It makes us feel really good — it's one of the chemicals released when we have sex, when we use drugs, when we gamble.All of a sudden that's gone." Struck by a sudden loss of brain chemicals that make you feel good, it's normal and very much human to seek out comfort.In a relationship, it's easy to fall into a pattern.And I'm not saying there's something wrong with routine.It's not what you want to hear, but what she suggests is the same thing all of your friends are suggesting — to spend some time alone.Not just to "heal" and "get over it," but to examine your own relationship faults that could be leading to chronic breakups and feeling like you constantly need someone new.Which explains why, a few days or weeks after breaking up with someone, you might find yourself missing a previous ex from several relationships ago.
"When you're with somebody your brain releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine.extremely popular breakup platitude that insists the only way to get over a person is to "get under" someone else (which is the advice Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber, and maybe even Bella Hadid and the Weeknd, seem to have recently followed). And what sucks even more is admitting that it's actually a pretty solid piece of advice.There are valid reasons why taking time to yourself between two relationships is valuable and healthy — especially if your last relationship ended in a traumatic way, like by finding out your partner cheated, or because of emotional or physical abuse.It's why the idea of getting on Tinder or going on a first date might feel revolting, while resting your head on an ex's shoulder sounds like the most comforting possible sensation — even if that ex was a trashcan and you know (logically) that breaking up was the right move.start dating someone new too soon, you're still putting yourself at risk for developing bad dating habits."You essentially get addicted to love," Forshee said."If you go into another relationship quickly after that — within a couple of weeks or even a couple of months — that trauma has been wired into [your] brain circuitry and [you'll] see the new relationship through a similar lens and have a hard time trusting," said Dr.Danielle Forshee, a psychologist and social worker who specializes in relationship and marriage counseling.But even if your breakup was the most amicable breakup to ever occur and there are no hard feelings, it's still wise to take some time to be willfully single.How much time you need is up to you, but if you find yourself constantly comparing any new crush to your ex, that's a good sign you still need more time."People usually go from one relationship to the next after this [feeling] starts waning off because they think that when they don't feel so passionate and lustful for someone anymore, maybe that means they're not in love," Forshee said. The second phase of love — the real love — is the attachment phase." For people who jump from one relationship to another, it's easy to never to get to that attachment phase.The feeling of being addicted to love, for most people, is really a craving for meeting and falling for someone new. And just like a high, it eventually wears off, which is where the pattern of breakups happens.