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Medical school, law school, many kinds of grad school can keep young adults infantalized as financial dependents up into their late twenties.
Some students, and especially students who work part-time and therefore are older or who are in graduate school, do defy the norm and marry.
I want to wait to marry until I'm sure which side of the 50% divorce statistic I'll end up on." The good news here was that my friend met a woman who felt totally right. Many singles do not want to risk putting themselves, or their potential children, through the sadness and upheaval they experienced when their parents untied their knot, or when they themselves ended a prior marriage. Alas, the culture of refraining from marrying seems to be economic-related.
They now have been married for over a decade and they and their children as well have been flourishing. Call it commitment phobia, call it understandable caution. Societal norms, right or wrong, have enormous impacts. Jonathan Rauch of Brookings Institution offers statistics that the more educated and moneyed a couple are, the more likely that they will marry.
According to recent studies, most high school kids still aspire to the love and marriage duo.
A 2013 Gallup poll for instance found that a whopping 84.5 percent of high school senior girls and 77 percent of high school senior boys still believe marriage to be "extremely important." That's good news, at least to those of us who believe that emotionally healthy marriages and families form the foundations of a civilized society.
In my graduate school program, only two of the twenty of us were married.
Yet the two of us were the only two who finished the five-year Ph D program in just five years, the rest took six, seven and more to complete their doctorates.
Interestingly, the Pew Research center has found that about the same number of adults are in on-going relationships now as in 1960.
Now, within half a century, is marriage antiquated, like a horse and buggy?
The problem is that boys and girls do not want love to lead to marriage.
Women chose not to marry because the government gave them more than the father of their children could earn. Especially if your own parents divorced, and all the more so if you do not understand what went wrong in their marriage, caution makes sense.
As one young adult friend of mine said, "My parents divorced.