Dating at midlife what you need to know

And then there's the health factor: people are typically living longer and, with this, may want to spend their extra years doing something different—and that something might not involve their spouse.

Along with that is something I like to think of as "boomer enlightenment": a realization that our days are numbered and precious, and divorce might be preferable to staying in an unhappy marriage.

Just like the Internet has opened up many avenues of knowledge to us, it's also opened up over 1,000(! There are mainstream sites like, which appeal to a very broad audience; sites that specifically target people over 50; and sites that target certain religions or ethnicities.

And if you're a woman who prefers the hirsute to the hairless, there's a even a site for that. No, it wasn’t to find a mate, but to see if they offered any advice to the midlife dating crowd.

Communication becomes difficult or practically nonexistent. For some couples, their beliefs or value systems might have shifted.

Perhaps personal self-fulfillment or the need for independence after being together with the same person for so long trumps staying married.

Yes, I know, dating in midlife wasn’t something you’d been planning a decade or so ago, right? We can either get excited about the possibilities or remain sceptical and negative about the whole thing.

Many people roll up, write a half-hearted profile, find a couple of blurry photos, join a dating site, sit back and hope for the best. Have you ever asked yourself the question, ‘what do I really want? Are you online dating because some friends said you should give it a go or maybe because it’s kind of expected as a way to show you’re through your divorce or break up?

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Whatever the reason, it is important to protect yourself.Finally, there are more women in the workforce than ever before, giving them the economic autonomy and freedom that more easily allows for divorce. Finkel, a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University and coauthor of a study of online dating, thinks highly of this method of meeting potential mates. It is a marvelous tool to meet people you might not have otherwise met," he told Dating at midlife If you're swimming in the pool of availability, dating rules and opportunities to meet other people have really changed since "back in the day." But since I have been married for a little over 30 years, I'm not the one to ask, so I've done some digging around the Internet and will share a few things I've learned. The variety of online dating sites can be dizzying, he said.According to a study by Bowling Green State University, divorce rate among couples over 50 more than doubled in the last two decades.In 1990, fewer than one in 10 people who divorced was 50 or older; by 2008, it was more than one in four. Some couples meet in high school or college, settle down and marry young.There certainly is a boatload of advice, but not much worth heeding.How to find love again The secret to finding true love is there is no secret.However I’m guessing that you wish to have a positive online dating experience, go on some great dates and, who knows, maybe meet someone you’re going to spend a lot of time with. And the more time you spend thinking about why you’re signing up and what you’re looking for, the better your experience will be. If you know you’re ready to move forward in life again, you’re going to give yourself a much better chance at getting this right, and most importantly: you’ll enjoy yourself more if you take some time to really think about what you want before you start.When I begin working with clients, the first thing I ask them to work through is an exercise to uncover their values, those things that are really important to them.Divorce Diaries: 7 Life Lessons on Midlife Break-ups We found love over 40 and know that it is a process that takes work.We both used to be negative about the prospect of finding love over 40, but now we know that it can be done and we have started a blog to help others through a serious of positive steps toward successfully finding a lasting love in their forties.

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