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through it, I had some very profound realizations about myself, love and dating. I decided to get into a relationship with him anyway.
And, not only was I super happy, it also proved to be one of the most drama-free, stress-free dating experiences I've had in years.
I'm so glad I finally learned that if the kind of relationship you want with someone isn't possible because you are at different places in your lives (again, it could be emotional), it is not because there is something wrong with you.
And you have the power to decide whether or not the situation is acceptable for you and choose how long you want to hang around in it. I'm ready to make better choices again about who to share my (still open! This is the best thing I learned about myself from this experience, and the way that I really walked away changed.
Being able to passionately talk without being cut off is borderline orgasmic.2.
The dreaded ~silent moments~ are actually fucking wonderful. LOL, this one will drive you nuts because you know when *you* get quiet, it’s 100 percent intentional passive aggressiveness designed to make the other person slowly crumble. He truly, genuinely is just floating in his own world for a hot second.4. The chatterbox floodgates really open when he has access to emojis and time to think before he speaks. You have to really ask him about himself, otherwise you might miss some big stuff.
Because the truth is, you can't build an authentic relationship if you're not authentically yourself.
I have learned from these things that the only way -- I now believe -- to build a genuine relationship is to be in the moment and to be fully ourselves, without the constant fear about where it's going to go or if it's going to end.
This also relates to someone's issues or emotional blockages.My energy wasn't spent worrying about whether it was going to go anywhere and when/if it was going to end. As much as I hate to admit it, when I've gone into dating someone in the past who I thought had the potential to be something serious, I've started putting pressure on it. We become so caught up in the of what that relationship could be rather than getting the chance to see if that person or that relationship is something we even want. If you're not worried about it ending or where it's going, then you're not worried about doing anything that might mess things up, so you're just completely yourself, like I was with him.When there's no pressure on it, you can simply spend your time enjoying each other, getting to know each other and allowing it to unfold naturally. I didn't follow any "rules;" I said exactly what I felt like saying (in fact, I was incredibly honest and straightforward), and did exactly what I felt like doing.Many people have blocks around emotional intimacy and commitment and are literally just not capable of it...and, again, that honestly has NOTHING to do with you. It doesn't matter how intense and magical the connection between the two of you is -- and you could be the most amazing, sexiest, coolest, smartest, funniest woman alive (and he may tell you that, and honestly mean it, but still not be able to show up for you the way you want) -- you can't do anything to change another person's emotional, mental or physical availability.Almost a year and a half ago, I got out of a very serious and very loving relationship, one which I had put my whole heart into.Since that breakup, I've been all over the place, pretty much going from one guy to the next, not really making the best choices; probably, on a subconscious level, as a form of protection.But, most importantly, I realized that I have learned from my life that the rewards of truly connecting with another person -- even if for a limited amount of time -- are always worth it. Don't spend your time worrying about where it's going.I think one reason it was so stress-free and enjoyable is because I was present in each moment.Sure, he won’t go on and on about how hot you are all the time (which isn’t even indicative of a great guy, tbh).He will, however, snag limited tickets to a concert you’d otherwise forget about because you were too swamped at work.