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But I just want to clarify: I do believe that she had grounds for divorce because of his pornography addiction.I think that’s where the fundamental disagreement comes in.That Christian women would feel comfortable spouting such nonsense to her should be proof enough of what is so terribly broken in Christian culture. But what I don’t find is you dealing honestly with genuine problems that couples have with communication, with distance, with betrayal of trust, with porn, etc.To Sheila’s credit, she did a follow on video blog post where she gently reminded these women that being true to yourself is not actually a biblical value. I agree with everything you’re saying, but I don’t think marriages can be fixed with a simple “suck it up and put on your big girl panties”.Adultery is expanded to the point where a man watching porn qualifies: in her comment, this is outside her primary justification (porn as adultery) for the wife’s plan to line up husband number two while still married to the first one.She states that addiction would be grounds for separation without remarriage, not to divorce and find another man.
The marital endurance ethic appears to play a big role.
All men need to understand this; if your wife decides to divorce you for another man, there will be well respected Christians lining up to justify her decision and place all of the blame on you. But changing yourself doesn’t mean that you change who you fundamentally are.
If that means conflating viewing pornography with actual adultery, so be it. It just means that you change your expectations and go to God to help you be the person He wants you to be. Changing so that you tolerate abuse is something else entirely.
I don’t think she SHOULD have divorced him, anymore than I think a woman should leave a guy because of a one-night stand. He only said that in cases of affairs, divorce is permitted. I’m just uncomfortable with you saying that Christians are allowing people to “whore” around because we’re permitting divorce, when I don’t think that’s the case.
And so in the movie Fireproof, she was in a relationship where divorce was permitted, and she was planning on divorcing, and planning on remarrying. I believe there are very narrow grounds for divorce: abuse, affairs, and in some cases, addictions.