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It’s no wonder, then, that text message miscommunications were a daily source of stress and anxiety.
It was yet another box to check as we sought a significant other: textual chemistry.
Predictably, his relationship falls apart when he’s confronted with in-person conversations that demand equally thoughtful, emotional or witty responses as those he would take 10 minutes to craft over text message, but which he cannot replicate in the split seconds of live conversation. So you just share with each other in a way that makes sense without worrying about looking desperate or not, anxious or not,” says Turkle. One New York couple I know that’s been dating for four years limits their texts strictly to logistics. “It often weirds people out that we just aren’t in contact that much, but we have a mutual inability to text-converse,” the woman says of her significant other.Long texts can demonstrate care or reek of desperation.That’s why 58% of singles think texting makes dating more ambiguous, according to a recent study from online dating sites Christian Mingle and JDate.“When we would hang out he was funny and charismatic and a great conversationalist.But anytime I made a joke over text he would respond seriously, killing the witty banter vibe and ending the conversation.” Lara Levin, a 27-year-old living in San Francisco, says she met a man on the dating app Hinge and saw him for over two months before deciding their texting habits were incompatible.But unlike the phone call, which has been around for decades, texting and messaging are new enough that no one can agree on what the hard and fast rules are, which means a typo might doom a future relationship.A winky face may be creepy to one person and friendly to another.I’d heard similar complaints from friends: potential dates who texted too much, too little; used too many emojis, didn’t seem to understand emojis at all; were too serious, used to many “lols” when they clearly were not .Each text was carefully analyzed for hidden meaning.In a 2015 poll by the Gravitate Research Group, 80% of Americans said they prefer texting to voice calls, and the average American spends 26 minutes texting every day.So texting compatibility can be an important signifier of how communication would work in a long-term relationship.