10 rule for dating my teenage daughter
I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.
Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, the return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. Finishing his typing Gil smiled to himself as he hit the print button.
Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-Shirts, or anything other then overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all- knowing, merciless God of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice patty outside Hanoi.
Movies with strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more then an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.
If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.
Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
You may want to ask such obvious questions as, "Exactly how can you be a great driver before you have a permit?Ah, the social media dilemma that plagues all singles.Just because she's your daughter doesn't guarantee you'll like her—especially as a teenager.Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer then a wooden stool.Places where there are no parents, policeman, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, r happiness. I may appear to be a retired man that looks to be too old to have a sixteen year old.Whereas older singles are more cautious when it comes to dating in the digital era."That said, here are the eight dating habits — new and old — that every single person needs to know about.Related: 10 Dating Tips I REALLY Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single 1.Bring back any other judge, get rid of one of them.Eastern Ontario, Canada in the Thousand Islands region.Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early"Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.